Friday, May 27, 2016

...To Begin Again....Sort Of.

The past month or so has been awesome.

Like seriously. Pretty much in every way possible. It started with me "pretending to be good at it" which I learned from the inspiring Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. And then somehow everything was all sunshine and rainbows. Like I said, awesome.

And then I met with my new therapist.

My old one recently retired. Great for him, not so great for me.

I wasn't even going to go. Things were going so well that it didn't seem necessary. But I thought, oh well, I should meet with her just to put a face to her name, just in case I need to see her in the future. Seemed like the smart thing to do. And it was. Probably.

But now I'm not so good any more. Now it's overcast, cloudy with chance of rain.

Kinda sucks.

It feels like I'm starting all over again, not quite from scratch. I know I'm probably over-reacting. It was the first meeting after all. She seems like a nice enough lady. It's just when she asked me to retell my "story", I kinda lost my mojo. She said even though she read my file, she wanted to hear it in my own words. Totally understandable, but totally ruined my day. And then I hung onto it and let it ruin the next day too. And the next.

Yesterday I vowed it would be a good day. And eventually it was. Well....not until I was going to bed, but still counts! And this morning, if you can still call it morning, (seeing as I gave myself permission to sleep in today) has been fine. Normal even.

I meet with her again in a couple of weeks. Her suggestion. Isn't it funny how even though you know you need therapy, to hear a therapist tell you that you do, sorta bums you out? It did me anyway.

So here we are.

I'm choosing to believe this is a good thing. Fresh ears and eyes couldn't hurt. And let's face it, as comfortable as it was with previous dude, things had gotten kinda stagnant. Our relationship had run it's course. And it'll be nice to talk to a woman for a change.

Movin' on.

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